Monday, 27 October 2014

Forgiveness, is something that many sought to be able to give, but when the moment comes, hard to do. I myself have been unable to do it sometimes, but I've learnt that life is indeed too short to be angry at people whom you love.

I read this on someone's status on Facebook "How ironic is it, that we always chase the ones who ignore us, ignore the ones who chase us, love the ones who hurt us and hurt the ones who love us" which is indeed so true.

The apology and forgiveness usually comes hand in hand. Of course, someone could just apologize not with the trueness of the heart, but as a means of reconciling the relationship. However we all know it almost never works. Somehow we'll always find ourselves unwilling to apologize and unwilling to forgive, and the greatest enemy of apologizing or forgiving: Pride. Really, if people can choose to shelve their pride and be a tad more considerate, the world would never have wars, nor fights nor arguments.

The very fact that we are never in this world for long, let alone forever, just makes us even more silly if you harbour on to the grudge or anger that you have cultivated. It isn't wrong to be angry, because it's a feeling, but thinking and holding on to it, turning it into a monster to feed on is the part where many people aren't able to let go.

If you were to think of this analogy, every minute that you stay angry at the person, wondering why he or she did a certain thing to you, would just keep you on your toes rather than allowing you to be as relaxed as you should be. Could also be the reason why some people say the longer you're mad, the more wrinkles you'll get. However, if you choose to find it within yourself to forgive, and hopefully forget about the matter, you'll let yourself be a little more comfortable, and much more relaxed and sensible in your thinking, posture and actions.

Is your pride truly so important that staying angry, refusing to apologize or forgive to show dominance overrides the feeling of freedom? If the deed done to you hurts you so bad that you cannot forgive, then the decision to cut the person out of your life has come. But if you know that you won't be doing that anytime soon, why put yourself in a position where you purposefully hate the person and make things difficult for them?

If a person did something towards you, it might be that it was by accident, or that the person didn't know better. But the very fact you choose not to forgive just makes you seem like the bad person in the end. I don't know much, but to me, apologizing first makes you the bigger person, and forgiving after that allows you to release the grudge which blackens your heart rather than helps solve the situation.

If you did something, and you know you're in the wrong, why wait to apologize? The world does not stop turning just because you wish to wait a few days more for the situation to settle down. If you're in the wrong, admit it, allow yourself to be the bigger person, and apologize. More often than not, if you allow yourself to be wallowing in guilt, you're going to turn into a very paranoid person.

Why risk it?

When you shelve your pride and apologize, are you one level below the one you apologized to?
When you shelve your pride and forgive, are you lowering yourself to their level?

No, in fact, when you apologize, you're showing that you're capable of learning. When you forgive, you're showing that you're capable of things more than what people might think your capacity limits to.

Start forgiving and apologizing today, because life is truly too short to stay angry at someone.

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