Monday, 22 September 2014

Once a Saint, always a Saint (25 Sept 2010)

I got my tattoos (1 on each inner arm, and 1 on the back) during the my younger years, before I actually hit 21. The ones on my arms, when I was 18 (the moment I hit the legal age) and the one on my back, when I was 19. Both are a year apart, 25 Sept 2009 and 25 Sept 2010. (Yes, I planned the dates). You often hear about reasons for the tattoos and I guess at some point in life, you may even forget those meanings and even forget it existed. (Believe me, it happened for my back one, mainly because I can't see it).

The reasons for them, why I went for words and not pictures or art, I hold very dear to my heart and to how I have been raised, and ultimately, how I perceive life as a whole.

I don't have photos of the ones on my arm, but on the left side it says "Faith" and on the right, "Love". These 2 words hold really great meaning to me, and in my life it's been something that I would hold on to whenever something happens or if I fear anything.
I used to wonder why everything I do is never reciprocated, and why everything that I've given has been given in vain, but then again, in the end, whatever I get is way more than what I've given. Yes I'm selfish, I give, but sometimes I hold back for myself. I don't give all that i have, because I never want to feel as though I've given too much, and that I've nothing left for myself. I guess that's mainly human nature, because we never want to feel vulnerable, or insecure.

But now I see, even amidst whatever I give even though I hold back, what I might have gotten, was someone's all, someone's everything. Sometimes people can actually be too nice. At the end of the day, they could have been the one that got hurt the most, but it probably never crossed my mind because all I thought about at that moment was in fact, myself.

Everything in life when I was young, used to be all about me, me, me.

So what is love?

Love has many different definitions. They're deep when people go through a lot in their life and have to fight for it. They're shallow when people have it all the time and they don't need to go through great lengths to acquire it. Somehow the dictionary's definition isn't always the best one you can get.

Love is something people crave for, and what people everywhere are looking for, but just too shy to say say so. You know it, and so do I. We see it in the face of everyone as we walk down the streets. Sometimes i really wonder, why do we need this? Why do we crave for it even though sometimes we try to take things into our own hands, to handle it ourselves? Ultimately, we all come to a realization that we can't live alone and that we need to have communication and cooperation with others to survive.

What about faith?

Faith is something that people look for after their need for love is met. The believe in a truth or a type of mentality or goal that pushes you forward in life. It's something people need to learn to live a better life. It's something that affects our mentality, and how we live life, our choices we make, and the thoughts we think. It is the core of our very being, and the values that we have are molded around it.

Faith is something people are always looking for as well, because belief is something that's very strong. How we all crave for our parents' words of affirmation over our lives that they believe in us too.

Simply put, I'm a very blessed person. No matter what has happened to me, love from people kept me going, faith from people kept me growing. What else can go wrong when I've got such wonderful people around me? To me, neither is more important than the other, because both need to be hand-in-hand for a life that's more enriching and fulfilling. The wing of faith glides together with the wing of love which in turn, propels us forward.

For me, my tattoos remind me of something greater than myself that I want to uphold throughout my life, no matter what circumstance I am in, or what situations I have come across. At the end of the day, I want to be a person of love and one that always has faith, be it in myself or in others.

The one on my back?

If you knew me from before, I was from an Anglican School called from St Andrew's Primary all the way to St Andrew's Secondary, and so for a total of 10 years, we were referred to as Saints. This word has played a big part in my life because as I was molded into an adult, I was always reminded that a saint is a person who does good, always respected his elders and ultimately, a person of stature and a gentleman at heart.

It's written across my back as a symbol like a jersey, where your identity is printed across your back so people will know where you're from, and from that information, what kind of person you are, or otherwise your "title".

Something that I always want myself to remember, is that I will be a saint through and through.

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